Why ‘Good Enough’ Isn’t Enough
By Jeff Brown – co-founder of Expanding You
We were in round two of edits on the new Inner Balance trailer. Lynn and I had already given our feedback to the video editor, sent it off, and now here we were again, this time Leslie was here too, watching the new version together.
Leslie and Lynn had notes. They wanted more edits.
And while they spoke thoughtfully, my system tensed up. I felt a flicker of annoyance. Then impatience. My mind whispered: “Didn’t we already go over this? We asked the editors to make that change. It’s fine. It’s good enough. Let’s move on.”
Recognizing old emotional programming in everyday reactions
In the past, I might’ve let those feelings drive the next move. I might have tried to steer the conversation toward settling. But that’s not what happened this time.
This time, I caught it.
That flicker of frustration? It was the signal that told me to pay attention and notice I was out of balance. Not because of the situation, but because of what was stirring inside me.
So I turned my attention inward. What’s really going on here?
First, I took a moment and gave myself permission to feel my feelings. In the past, I would have skipped over my feelings entirely and gone right to getting the job done. Instead, I followed the thread of my annoyance into my past, and it took me right back to childhood. My dad’s voice echoed in my head, impatient, always rushing, never fussed about details. “It’s fine. Just leave it. Doesn’t matter.” Saving time mattered more than getting it right.
And layered on top of that? My mom’s quiet concern. “Don’t ask again. It’s rude. You’re being a burden.”
Ah. There it was. My dad’s belief that “saving time matters more than getting it right” conflicts with my mom’s belief of “don’t be a burden”. I was embodying the beliefs of my parents and tying myself up in knots.
How old emotional programming shapes our present behavior
At Expanding You, we teach that all behaviour is internally motivated. Knowing this, I was able to turn inward and recognize my struggle was old programming and emotional wounds running inside of me, it wasn’t about the trailer video edits.
And now I had a choice: stay in it, or shift out. So I named it out loud to Lynn and Leslie.
“I’m noticing I’m feeling frustrated, and I’ve got some old programming showing up here. I can hear my dad’s voice, that urge to just wrap it up. And I can feel that pressure from my mom’s message that we shouldn’t ask for more.”
Bringing it into the light took the charge out of it.
From resistance to authentic alignment
Then I anchored into the facts:
- This trailer is going on our website and into our marketing. I want it to be the best it can be.
- We’re paying our editors by the hour. So what if there are more edits?
- We weren’t as clear as we could’ve been the first time. That happens. Let’s just fix it now.
From there, my system started to settle. I moved from resistance to receptivity. From internal conflict to clarity. From annoyance to something softer, collaboration. These are the skills we introduce in the Inner Balance program.
By naming the beliefs and programming that were running, and choosing truth over the old narrative, I shifted in real time. This shift is a healing moment where I consciously break free from an old, unhealthy unconscious pattern that was programmed many years ago. That’s the power of the work we do at Expanding You.
Was I suddenly elated? No. And that’s important to note. Even after the mental shift, the emotion takes a moment to catch up. I wasn’t in a full state of joy, but I was out of resistance. My heart, I’d say, was at a 3 out of 5. Open. Connected. Not ecstatic but present, grounded.
I could feel myself land back into my body. Not just understanding the shift intellectually, but feeling it. That’s the move from my constructed identity, that version of me that was unconsciously rooted in protection and fear, to embracing my courageous, authentic self, the version of me grounded in love and presence. What I could have easily labelled as a micro-moment of regulation was in fact a healing experience.
This is what transformational work looks like. Leaning into everyday moments, noticing the layers of beliefs and programming informing my behaviour and choosing differently.
Tracking a real-time inner transformation
In Expanding You, we track this shift using the lineage of behavior:
Programming → Beliefs → Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Experience
In that moment, I walked the chain backward. From the experience (impatience during edits), I tracked it to the action I was about to take (push to move on), the feeling behind it (irritation), the thoughts fueling that (this is fine, this is a waste), the beliefs under that (asking for more is rude, perfect isn’t worth the time), and finally the programming it all stemmed from.
And by seeing it, by owning it, I got to choose something different.
The deeper truth?
It’s not too much to ask for what you want. It’s not wrong to revisit something to make it better. And it’s definitely not more noble to settle for “good enough” when your vision is calling for more.
So we created and sent a list of the new edit suggestions. Not from fear or overthinking, but from presence. When I showed up this way, I felt connected, confident, and my self-esteem increased.
This is what it looks like to apply the work. Not just in the big moments of life, but in the sometimes subtle, everyday ones where our nervous systems get activated and our old programs or emotional wounds try to steer the ship.
This moment wasn’t a breakdown. It was an invitation for a breakthrough. And I said yes.